What Would Voters Do?

Every four years, like clock-work, the great joke that is the US presidential election returns to remind us just how ridiculous we’ve become as a people.  Despite the process decaying into a type of reality show, my curiosity gets the better of me and compels me keep up with the daily dose of bickering we are served by the candidates.  Recently, as I was flipping through different news networks which were covering the election, a thought occurred to me - whoever wins the election this year will be inaugurated while pledging an oath on a bible, which is quite odd for a secular country isn’t it?  It is undeniable that the core of US identity is built around Christianity.  Consider, for example, the fact that Christmas is a national holiday or that the Post Office closes on Sundays.  There’s also the little factoid that every single president ever has been Christian.  Don’t get me wrong – it’s not necessarily a bad thing that the USA is culturally Christian.  But I’ve always wondered, what would happen if Jesus ran for President?  What would voters do?

It’s a silly question right?  No matter what your belief is concerning Jesus, it would seem obvious that his campaign would be a resounding success.  The overwhelming majority would undoubtedly be drawn towards his message of peace and mutual cooperation.  But the more I thought about it, the more apparent it became that Jesus wouldn’t stand a chance in any Presidential election that takes place in the USA.  Don’t believe me?  Let’s consider how the major US political parties - the Democrats and Republicans - would react to a Jesus 2012 campaign.

Democrats

The Democrats would initially be drawn to Jesus.  Much like the Obama of 2004 and Joaquin Castro of this year, his young (only 33!), magnetic charisma, coupled with his eloquence, would attract many potential voters.  However, some of his key campaign messages would raise serious red-flags with Democrats.  Given the... genealogy of Jesus, it would be safe to assume that he would be a staunch creationist and could even go as far as deny evolution all together.  He would also want to strengthen the ties that bind Church and State, which would make many of the left-leaning Democrats quite uncomfortable.  

There are a couple of topics for which we don't fully know where Jesus would stand.  For instance, what would Jesus have to say about abortion?  Also, there would be the very serious question about his stance concerning gay marriage.  Given Obama’s declared support for it, it stands to reason that this will be echoed by more and more Democratic politicians in the coming years.  However, it is not overtly clear whether or not Jesus would share the same sentiment.

Republicans

Republicans would take serious issues with Jesus’ platform.  Jesus was known to heal the blind and lepers, which screams of free healthcare.  Remember the Canaanite woman who proclaimed her faith?  Despite the fact that she was from a different ethnic background to the Jews, she was included into the fold of Jesus‘ teachings.  Would this not then translate to a more open immigration policy?  Also, given the fact that Jesus would possess a metaphysical relationship with nature, he would, in all likelihood, have a strong environmental agenda.

The heritage of Jesus would pose a challenge to him as well.  The fact of the matter is that no Jewish person has ever been President of the United States.  In addition to this, Jesus was born in what is now the Palestinian city of Bethlehem.  How do you think he would feel about the illegal wall that Israel is building around his hometown?  Do we really think that Jesus would condone or support policies that would destroy the people who live in his native land?  Last but not least, there is that minor detail of his birth, which has been the subject of many debates for the last 2000 years.  In 2008, the so-called ‘Birthers’ created an up-roar when they claimed that Obama was not born in the USA.  They would certainly have a field day attacking Jesus for his claim that he is the miraculous child of a virgin.

Countless millions of Americans worship Jesus Christ.  They look to his teachings and examples for inspiration and guidance.  Yet, ironically, these very characteristics are the reasons that Jesus would never win an election in the United States.  His views on the world and our place in it would create a strong backlash from the ruling class, much as they did 2000 years ago.  Funny how some things never change, right?  I can just imagine him now, standing at a podium during a televised debate.  Obama and Romney would be placed on either side of him as they both attack his policies.  The people watching these debates would firmly nod their heads in agreement as Republicans and Democrats alike seek to weaken Jesus’ arguments.  Jesus would have no choice but to look out with his piercing eyes at a world that has rejected him, yet again, and turn his other cheek.

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